Love and like

As I was clearing the table after dinner today I thought to myself, what will happen when I run out of things to write about? What will write about then? I'll be like Eminem after he told the whole world his life story you hardly hear from him anymore. Fear not, I've not reached that point yet. I still have plenty to write about. Today, a conversation with a friend inspired this topic. It was about liking someone but not loving the person. (I'm trying very hard not to include any gender or relationship hints in this post.) That passing mention actually reminded me of my good friend Mike. It was one occasion after training at WMAC (World Martial Arts Centre) his daugther who is a teenager was annoyed with something he did to her but she said "I love you dad" afterwards anyways. I think that's a very good example of you don't have to like someone to love someone, the exact sentence Mike told me afterwards. Words I remember till today. You know in life there are always those kinda moments/phrases that you remember till you die. Trust me, I forget easily so if i remember this it must have some significant substance behind it.

To be frank, like all people certain things my mum does/traits I am not too fond of - nobody's perfect but if anybody forces me to choose between my mother and something/somebody else, be prepared to be disappointed. The same goes with my brothers. I might not see eye to eye with all of them on certain issues, and some were very annoying especially when they were younger but there's nothing I wouldn't do for them when they really need me. I'm sure everyone has annoying brothers. For some reason, I never found my sister ever annoying. Strange. Maybe because she was the only sister so there was not much to fault. I dunno.

Family is an obvious example of how you can love someone but not necessarily like them, well not ALL the time. But can this be extended to non-family members. Ah, this is when Afif treads on relationship territory. Well, in my opinion, yes. That's why I think some arranged marriages do actually work. My parents don't see eye to eye on alot of things and their characters are eons apart - all of which are very apparent in the diversity of characters of their children. Much to my dislike, I actually admit that I take after alot of my mother. Very safe, calculative when taking risks, blunt sometimes. I can be insensitive at times as logic and common sense makes up alot of my decision making process - something that sometimes will appear rather insensitive to people. This is probably due to me growing up around my mother whilst she wasn't working thus her influencing my value system alot. The other siblings had less of an exposure to life with mum being around home. Values is another topic I'd like to talk about in another post Insyallah.

Anyways, slightly veering off topic there. So what is the difference between love and like? how different is liking someone/something to loving something or someone? To be honest, if I knew I won't be here writing this post. I'd probably write a book about it, earn a fortune and retire at some deserted island in Sabah. hehehe... Ok, jokes aside. I'll try. Here goes. I think the main difference is experience/purpose. To love some something/someone one must experience something that touches the heart. Like to be able to truly love God one must experience the greatness of God in his creations for example. It is different to different people but that experience must touch the heart. It may only be hearing to words describing the thing/person that is the object of affection. Liking something is easy. Something that appeals to the senses is easily likeable. Sweets are easy to like. Good looking people are also easy to like.

Which brings me to the bit where I risk exposing my soft side. For an example, how can some hot chick fall for an ugly guy? This has happened in front of me before. You may think it's the money. Good guess - some girls do love money and by association, love the source of the money. She may not even like the guy. In this case I think it's the things he does that makes her fall for him. Maybe it's his sincerity. Anyhow, it is something that is experienced and that's why people looking form the outside may not understand. Another caution to those who tend to be quick to judge.

Another one is how can a wife who's husband beats her still stay with him? One reason maybe the fact that she loves him enough to see through his flaws and the good things he does transcends the bad things he does. And now for something girls would never understand. Guys can love their "toys" and most women can not understand this. A good example is the main criteria for being a bona fide car nut: One MUST have owned an Alfa Romeo in the past. My late grandpa owned one. He wouldn't sell it till very near his death. He truly loved it! But it was not starting, the paint was faded etc... on first glance you'd wonder what he sees in it. You know the typical stereotype of old Alfa Romeos - They work like 5% of the time and break down like 95% of the time but it's the way they drive, they look and sound the 5% of the time that they work that stirs the senses and touches the soul. 95% of the time when it doesn't work you'd probably be kicking it and cursing it. But deep down inside you love it and you probably have a name for it - maybe Bianca or something. hehehe...

Oklah, getting late. So, you can love something but not necessarily like it. The key is to focus on the good and appreciate the good in things/people. Most things have something good worth appreciating if not loving. Good night guys.